My Beloved readers, how you truly doing today?
Today I realised how long it's been since I said Yes, not only to my loved ones but most importantly to myself.
These past 6 months have been yet another major challenge that I never thought I would have to undergo, and at one point I only saw a bleak outlook. However as dark as those days and nights have been I can say I have made it thus far. I'm not going to ponder too much on the darkness of those days, maybe in another post I will elaborate but this post is about saying YES.
You see after purchasing and getting half way through Shonda Rhimes book - The Year to Say Yes back in November last year, I haven't been doing me, I haven't been reading or more importantly writing, I haven't done anything creative or inspiring. All I've been doing is laying in my bed or in the bath literally moping around focuding on my long standing battle with this illness and the complications it is creating for my new life. I've isolated myself from my loved ones, including to a degree my Royals, don't get me wrong I'm doing the mummy stuff but not to the fun and positive way that they are accustomed to. I love my babies with every ounce of my life force and I look at them and know that I cannot give up in this life because of them. They need me.
Anyhoo I'm slightly digressing. For those of you that are battling with a chronic illness you will more than likely understand those moments when you just lay in bed and stare into space and days and nights blend while you remain oblivious to what is going on in the real world. Determination and motivation is a struggle because you know and feel the physical repercussions of exerting yourself is going to bring; so you use the minimum amount of spoons per day to save some for that one day of the month you leave the house or better yet your bedroom. I get it! Which is what brings me to the whole point of this post. It's time to say YES, yes to remembering what you like, love and enjoy, time to really start using your brain and to do more than just stare into space, or scrolling through social media with ZERO satisfaction, or watching boring poorly written TV show after TV show. It's time to put some effort into yourself. Whether it's reading, writing, arts or crafts something you can do on your own for your own peace of mind.
It's the first day of April and I'm challenging myself and you to begin your first steps by agreeing for this month of April to say I AM NOT MY CURRENT SITUATION, I AM CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING MORE THAN I AM DOING AT PRESENT, I AM IN LOVE WITH MYSELF THEREFORE I CAN AND I AM MAKING THE EFFORT TO BE HAPPY FOR ME. I AM NOT MISERABLE OR DEPRESSED I WAS WAITING FOR SPRING TO KICK INTO MY STEP AND NOW I HAVE IT.
I will say this everyday amongst other affirmations to myself. I am going to stop putting off things for tomorrow that I can do today. Starting with reading, writing and enjoying my inner beauty. I am also going to enjoy my Royals, spend real QT with them even if it's just 30 minutes at a time and make sure they know that I am present. I AM MORE THAN MY ILLNESS which appears to be something I have forgotten over the last 6 months.
I have been up all night with yet another case of insomnia which is part of my unfortunate routine, however for the first night in many months I have actually been productive. I managed to write a page in one of my books that I have had sitting collecting cyber dust waiting for me to find my muse in order to inspire the princesses of this world. The book when finished will be released From Empress to Princess (c) via Triple Infinity Creations. I'm praying I will get it finished and out in the world this year. In fact I am saying YES it will be completed this year!!!! I have also been watching Iyanla Vanzant videos all night and she has made me look into self reflection. I have her books but have not picked any of them up in years. After tonight I believe I need to wake up and truly make the most of who I am.
With all that said my beloved readers, please join me in this challenge and say YES to yourself and don't feel guilty for being selfish in your journey of selflessness.
Peace, Love and Light till next time